This is basically amazing

Yes, the time stamp is correct. My back hurts so I can't sleep. Anyway, here's what I'm doing with my insomnia.

Best invention ever

Good night. (hopefully)

Now I know, and knowing is half the battle

I don't usually (as in never) post on the weekends, but TW sent this to me, and I thought it was worth passing on. Especially to those of you who are expecting. Part of it is in Spanish and my language skills aren't good enough to totally understand what they're saying, but you'll get the idea from the pictures.

Instructions on how to take care of a baby

Enjoy.

Speaking of guys thinking about dumb things

Quick story. This one time in the MTC, my district and I were at lunch, and several of us got into a heated who-would-win-in-a-fight debate. This is one of the oldest and most important points of discussion for men dating back to our caveman days (some women might argue that those haven't ended, but that's another discussion...) when one cro magnon man and another got into an argument over whether a sabre-tooth tiger could beat a mammoth in a fight. The debate was settled when the two men were trampled and their now-much-more-tender bodies were eaten by the tiger. Anyway, back to the story.

Our debate centered on whether Neo from "The Matrix" could beat Superman. We were in the midst of fleshing out essential ground rules (in the matrix or out, is there kryptonite in the matrix, and could Neo make kryptonite appear if it didn't exist) when some guy threw a napkin in front of us. On it was written the words:

Jesus is my superhero.

-The Thai Elders

I know it's not very Christlike of me, but that's one time that I honestly thought about decking someone in the MTC. Oh well. Apparently you're not allowed to relax a little or let your hair down (figuratively speaking, because literally if you're a dude then you can't). It's a weird place sometimes. (But don't let that dissuade you from going on a mission. You won't regret it.)

Disney's dark secret

Disclaimer: This post is meant only as a joke and is not meant to offend anyone.

So, sorry that I haven't posted in a few weeks. My internet was down on the day that I felt like blogging, so nothing got written for a while. That's the way it goes. Anyway, I said that I'd disclose Disney's dark secret, so here goes.

This discovery came out of a conversation that I had with a mission buddy of mine. He posed the following question: What's the deal with Pluto?

Since, the specificity of his question left something to be desired I inquired further about what he meant and received the following explanation, "Well, Goofy is a dog, right? And Pluto is a dog, but Goofy walks around and talks to people, while Pluto is just like a regular dog. So what's up with Pluto, is he just a different breed or something?"

Before I go any further with this, I should probably address what you're thinking about right now, and Yes. Guys do spend a lot of time thinking about things like this.

Ready for the answer? Here it is. Pluto isn't a different breed or anything, he just slow, but there are no organizations in the Disney world to fight for his rights so Mickey goes right on treating him like a dog. When the big story breaks and someone writes the massive expose on the Disney world, remember that you heard it from me first.

Cosmo apparently does NOT swing that way

It looks like Cosmo is no longer one of the homosexual students on campus. Wikipedia has been updated. While I'm glad that we're no longer being misrepresented, I'm going to miss that old entry a little bit. It was hilarious.

Teenagers are Ugly

I was recently on vacation on the East Coast, and as we were driving I saw a car with their window rolled down, and a kid who looked to be about 14. Do I actually have to say that he was not an attractive-looking person? It's common among all species, but for your enjoyment, just take a moment and smile to yourself that you are not still in that awkward stage. If you still want to see more, go here, here, here, and most especially here. If you are still in that awkward stage then you have my condolences.

Cosmo is Gay?

As I have mentioned before, I go to BYU, and our beloved mascot is Cosmo the Cougar. For some reason I searched him on wikipedia the other day, and I came across this line:

"Cosmo is usually one of the homosexual students on campus..."

I have no idea if it's true or not, but I'm not inclined to believe it. Wikipedia, I love you, but sometimes you make me wonder how much I should trust you.